The Quest for Happiness: Values, Vocational Choice, and Meaning in Life and Work

Throughout history, the concept of “happiness” has been a topic of debate among philosophers, theologians, academics, and laypeople alike. Discussion has centered on what constitutes happiness, how it can be achieved and sustained, and how it sources and results from individual and social well-being. In current times, psychologists have entered the fray, inquiring and researching the very same points in a scientifically rigorous manner. The popularity of this quest for happiness has birthed racks of self-help literature, life coaches, and gurus such as Oprah Winfrey and Anthony Robbins – all hoping to supplement, enhance, and even cash-in on this very fundamental human pursuit. The quest is both ancient and modern, and is echoed in the words of Aristotle: “Happiness is so important, it transcends all other worldly considerations.”

At some point, and often at many points in our lives, we ask the questions: Who am I and what do I want to be (do) when I grow up? Work and career are an important means by which people manifest themselves in the world. For most of us, a large proportion of our waking hours is spent working. Because of this, it is important to an overall sense of happiness that each of us is content in what we are doing on a day-to-day basis. While some labor as a means to an end (and may or may not be happy), there are many who derive a great amount of personal fulfillment and satisfaction from their professions.

These fundamental topics of happiness, purpose, meaning, and choice are a large part of what I focus on with my clients, and were the crux of my Master's thesis at Northwestern University. The study is titled: The Quest for Happiness: An Exploration of Values, Vocational Choice, and Meaning in Life and Work. Using quantitative and qualitative survey data, I examined how those who report high and low levels of overall happiness tend to rate and rank their values, make choices with respect to work and life roles, and how they derive or assign meaning to those choices. Based on a robust sample (thanks to many of my readers for completing the survey!), the results demonstrated that there is a strong linkage between each of these factors, and that happiness and work satisfaction are directly impacted by the vocational and life choices people make.

I recently completed my Master's of Science in learning and organizational change at Northwestern, and am working on a white paper version of my findings. However, I have available three different versions of my thesis for readers:

1. Full thesis
2. Thesis without appendices
3. Condensed version of thesis (omits some findings)

If you are interested in reading this immensely interesting study, please send me an email at info@judahkurtz.com, along with your name, email address, and which version you're interested in me sending. You may also let me know if you are interested in the white paper.

Distinguishing Between Spirit and Soul

I just started reading a collection of passages from literature, compiled by Thomas Moore in The Education of the Heart. His intention in bringing together this information was for the purpose of showing us "how to cultivate our humanity." Within the section "The Rediscovery of the Soul," Moore introduced the discussion with his own thoughts on spirit versus soul.

I share this with you now because it sparked a paradigm shift. I have spent much of my life focused on my own spiritual evolution but am now realizing I have been neglecting aspects of my soul. I had collapsed the two concepts into one, believing the nurturing of my spirit was the same as nurturing my soul. I look forward to exploring this distinction further, and to the insights and expansion I experience as I dig deeper into my own humanity... focusing not just on the transcending of it.

"Ancient literature makes a distinction between the soul and the spirit, and this important consideration, foreign in many ways to common thinking, has been developed in creative ways by C.G. Jung and especially James Hillman. Although the issue is subtle and complicated, in general terms we can see the spirit as focused on transcending the limits of our personal, time-bound, concrete life. The spirit is fascinated by the future, wants to know the meaning of everything, and would like to stretch, if not break altogether, the laws of nature through technology or prayer. It is full of ideals and ambition, and is a necessary, rewarding, and inspiring aspect of human life.

The soul is, as Jung says, the 'archetype of life,' embedded in the details of ordinary, everyday experience. In the spirit, we try to transcend our humanity; in the soul, we try to enter our humanity fully and realize it completely. Egged on by spiritual ambition, a person might imitate the old saints and go into the desert or the forest to be cleansed and discover a high level of consciousness. Full of soul, a person might endure the highs and lows of family life, marriage, and work, motivated by a compassionate and hungry heart." (p. 12)

"...people are often confused when faced with the traditional distinction between the soul and the spirit, but distinguishing these two dimensions of experience can be helpful. We might notice, for instance, how much we are motivated by the spirit in our concentration on the future, on understanding, and on achievement. We might then see how we neglect the soul, which has complementary but very different values, such as slowness, the past, inaction, feeling, mystery, and imagination....To suggest a distinction between soul and spirit is not to advocate a separation of the two. On the contrary, it seems best to arrive at a place where in effect the two work together, as in a marriage or partnership." (p. 32)

I close with a passage on soul by Marsilio Ficino (Book of Life), excerpted from Moore's book:

"If there were only two things in the world, mind and body, but no soul, then the mind would not be involved with the body, because it is fixed and emotionless and very distant from physical life. Nor would the body have anything to do with the mind, because by itself it is inept and powerless. It is also far removed from the mind. But if soul is placed between these two, adjusted to the nature of each, then one would easily become involved with the other." (p. 15)

New Year’s Resolutions are a Waste of Time

I have been saying this for years: New Year’s Resolutions set you up for failure and feeling sh**ty about yourself. The resolutions people make are usually about fixing themselves and their lives, based on “there is something wrong here” or even worse, “there is something wrong with me.” It is a losing proposition that doesn’t usually produce the results we seek, nor the sense of commitment, pride, and accomplishment we deserve. Instead, focus on getting clear about what you want -- based on values and personal purpose/meaning -- and then create goals that support that. Create a living, breathing plan for the coming year that you adjust as you evolve and discover more about yourself. Don’t do this all or nothing approach that comes with resolutions.

I believe it important to set yourself up to win. I have an exercise that I do personally, and assign to my clients every year called Looking Back, Looking Forward. It can be done at New Year’s and/or at birthdays (personal new year) and is designed to help you begin your year with energy and excitement. It is about clarity, choice, commitment, and creation. So, let’s dive in and start with…

Looking Back

Begin by reflecting on what you have accomplished and learned this past year, so that you can powerfully complete it with honesty and celebration. We so often want to charge ahead into “what’s next” without taking the time to consider all that it has taken to get us here. Who were we being that allowed us to create the successes and lessons? What did we do that gave us all we have? If we don’t take the time to acknowledge this, we miss out on honoring ourselves and our actions…and feel like we are always pushing ahead toward an elusive finish line that never shows itself.

Find a quiet spot to write or type without interruptions. This may be in your home, a peaceful location where you feel at one with yourself, or even a coffee shop. Relax and reflect, without judgment, and record your thoughts. Consider these questions:

1. What did you accomplish that you intended to accomplish?
2. What did you accomplish above and beyond what you intended?
3. What didn’t you accomplish that you intended?
4. What did you learn this year?
5. What would you like to be acknowledged for and by whom?

Below are some topics that you may want to include (for both parts of this exercise) so that you can broaden your scope beyond career, money, and health:

• Career: your real expression, not necessarily your “job”
• Money: includes both your finances and your “job,” if it’s not your “career”
• Health: mental, physical
• Relationship: friends, family
• Love: romance, partnership, dating
• Personal growth
• Spirit: relationship to self, universe, higher power
• Community: contribution, involvement
• Physical environment: home/work space, clutter, living location
• Fun and recreation
• Time/energy management: how you spend/utilize your time, what you say yes/no to
• Communication: style, frequency, with/to whom
• Miracles: something amazing and unexpected…

Try to write down at least 2-3 items in each area, but you may find yourself putting down dozens of successes and lessons. You may also consider working with someone close to you to help capture things that you are forgetting about. Then choose to celebrate the year in some way. It can be something like purchasing a gift for yourself, or it can be an action that doesn’t cost a dime. Whatever way you choose to recognize what you have achieved, the most important part is you consciously take the action with celebration in mind. Some examples may be taking a bath, making a toast or a special meal at home, or even going for a long walk.

Looking Forward

This portion of the exercise is about creating a vision of what you want to be/do/have for the coming year. Think about who you are, what you value, and what is most important to you. Consider what you dream about, who you want to be, and what kinds of activities you would like to participate in.

Then write down, in each of the areas listed above, a few goals and milestones for the coming year. Some are continuations of something you have already been doing (keep smoke-free, continue going to the gym 2x a week), or might be new activities (be open to taking risks, take a vacation). Don’t get too bogged down in the “how” just yet. Just allow yourself the space to be creative and think outside the “fixing” toward what your heart truly wants. Refer to this article for a little assistance. Remember this is about clarity, choice, commitment, and creation.

Some tips:

• Be realistic by setting achievable goals. Winning the lottery, for example, is out of your grasp.
• Describe your goals in specific terms. Instead of "I don't want to be lazy," opt for "I want to exercise regularly" or "I will cut down on my television watching." Consider this article when writing this.
• Break down large goals into smaller ones. For instance, commit to losing weight by resolving to join a gym and improve your eating habits.
• Find alternatives to a behavior that you want to change, and make this part of your plan. For example, if you want to quit smoking, but have smoked to relax yourself, consider: What other forms of relaxation are available to you?
• Above all, aim for things that are truly important to you, not what you think you ought to do or what others expect of you.

Now What?

You have reflected on the past year, you have celebrated and put it to bed, and you have created goals and milestones for the coming year. The next step is: action. Remember, these are not New Year’s Resolutions; rather, they are part of your short and long term plans based on who you are and what you really want. Now is the time to jump in. Here are some suggestions for initiating and keeping your goals alive for yourself:

1. Just pick something and start. You will not take on all your goals at the same time. Pick the top 3-5 that you can start making a dent in right now, and begin practicing. You may even want to take on the easiest ones first, so you can experience immediate success to get you motivated.
2. Declare it. By keeping key friends informed of what you are doing, you are setting yourself up with a support system. Share your successes and challenges. This will not only help you, but will also motivate others and help them feel like they are not alone.
3. Partner with someone. Create structures or commitments to help keep you accountable. Find a workout buddy. Partner with someone to help you keep smoke-free. Hire a coach. You don’t have to go it alone!
4. Use your calendar. Make sure you have time and space set aside in your day for your activities, goals, etc. If a competing priority comes up, reschedule that time – don’t just cancel it. By carving out the space, it is more likely to stay top-of-mind and you are more likely to do it.
5. Baby steps. Break your goals down into small chunks. See more explanation of this HERE. For example, if you want to lose weight or gain strength, set some targets for the next 3-6 months, then work backward to determine how you will achieve that target. Put in some milestones. Create some structures. But most importantly, don’t get overwhelmed by the bigger goal; remember that you only need to focus on TODAY.

You Are Exactly Where You Are Supposed To Be…

…because that is where you are. These words came out of my mouth with a client today, and I was reminded how true it is for all of us to keep in mind. There are many times when we think to ourselves: Why am I here? Shouldn’t I be somewhere else? Shouldn’t I be, do or have something different at this point in my life?

The reality is: you are on a path. You may not be entirely clear where that path is leading, but there is something crucial about the experiences you are having right now. A year from now, you will look back and say: At this time last year, I was going through X and I learned A, B, and C, that got me to where I am today. Trust that, and know that throughout your life, it has always been that way...and it has always worked out in a direction that allowed you to learn crucial information. Your unique journey is necessary for your own growth, discovery of self, and manifestation of goals and dreams.

Cut yourself some slack. Stop focusing on the “shouldas” and focus on the present. Give yourself permission to take stock in where you currently find yourself, and ask: What am I learning? What’s important to me? What are my values and am I honoring them? What do I want to create?

And if you are unable to take an objective, 30,000 foot view of your situation, share it with a trusted friend, family member, or coach. Their points of view (taken with a “grain of salt”) may spark some new thoughts, choices, or direction for reflection. Journal, collage, or just talk it out. But be sure to stop, look, and listen to what life is telling you. Have faith that it’s all happening this way because these are essential lessons for what’s coming next on your path.

Get a JUMP-START with this 4-Session Workshop!

Dissatisfied?
Feeling stuck?
Need a change?
Not sure what to do?

It's time for a JUMP-START!

• Discover what you want and how to get it
• Define SMART goals
• Design strategies for using your time and energy more effectively
• Identify your core values
• Recognize your disabling self-talk
• Find clarity and balance

Testimonials from June Workshop:

• "I feel much more positive about my life in general. I'm happier."
  
• "I think the structure and pace of the class can help people...in most any area of their lives. It also provides people with an opportunity to reflect on where they are and where they want to go."
• "This class opened up tons of ideas and opportunities for growth!"
• "I'm really starting to feel empowered about setting goals and making good choices for myself...I accomplished a really big goal for myself and am now on the right path..."
• "Judah is particularly good at drawing out answers by asking the right questions in a non-threatening or intimidating manner."

WHEN: Thursdays 7:00pm-8:30pm
October 29 and November 5, 12 & 19

WHERE: Center on Halsted
3656 N. Halsted St., Chicago

COST: $195
$20 off before October 15

JUMP-START 4-Session Workshop

Registration (After October 15) $195.00 Early Bird Registration (Before October 15) $175.00

Judah S. Kurtz - Coaching & Consulting - Since 2000, Judah Kurtz has provided life and business coaching and consulting to individuals and organizations to help them find clarity, success and fulfillment. He has expertise in career development, effectiveness, motivation, leadership, and organization and communication skills. He holds degrees and certifications in psychology, training, and organizational development from Northwestern University, has extensive coaching training, and has over fifteen years of experience working with corporate leadership.

Help Me Finish My Thesis – Complete My Short Survey!

Get some good karma by helping me finish my thesis!! It will only take 10 minutes to complete this short online survey.

I am conducting a research study that examines what connections may exist between values, vocational choice, and happiness. As a professional coach and consultant, I believe this research is relevant not only to individuals in their personal and professional lives, but to organizations and how they can best engage, develop, manage, and retain their people. This research project is the foundation of my thesis and the culmination of my Master’s degree at Northwestern University, in Learning and Organizational Change.

I would be grateful if you could provide your input by participating in this short online survey. It is interesting, fun and really does take only 10 minutes to complete. Click on the link below (or copy and paste it into your web browser). The survey must be completed by Friday, October 2.

http://msloc.qualtrics.com/SE?SID=SV_42RyyJnvbQM7Q5m&SVID=Prod

I am trying to get as many contributors as possible (large data set), so please share this with your friends and colleagues (note: they need to be adults over age 18 that reside in the United States).

Should you elect to participate, your individual results will be kept confidential, and you will be welcome to view the study’s results upon its conclusion in late-fall 2009.

Thank you so much for your help!

Surrendering to The Burning Man

I bought my ticket. I coordinated my travel. I planned my costumes and bleached my hair. My gear was packed and I was ready to embark on the journey called Burning Man 2009. I read everything I could find on others’ experiences and recommendations for making the most of the Burning Man experience. And nothing could adequately prepare me for what awaited me in the desert… and more importantly, within myself.

What is Burning Man?

For those who are unfamiliar with what Burning Man is, begin HERE and explore the articles and galleries for a taste. Started in the mid-80s in the Bay Area, the event has evolved to roughly 40-50k people descending upon an ancient lakebed (called “The Playa”) in the Nevada desert for eight days of full self-expression without judgment.

Everyone’s experience is completely different. Some camp in tents, others in RVs – in smaller camps of 10 people to larger camps of 100+. There are mohawked children; hundreds of bicycles ( one of the few sanctioned modes of transportation); frequent nudity and various forms of sexual exploration; theme camps where you can find grilled cheese sandwiches at 4am (Black Rock City Diner), a call to paint on canvas walls (Picasso Camp) or a chance to make your own set of decorative horns for your head/hat (Horny Camp); gay and lesbian AA meetings; hundreds of “art cars” in the shapes of dragons, giant ships or anything that can be placed on wheels (many shooting out giant flames to everyone’s great excitement); a Temple where people inscribe and place dedications to deceased loved ones that is burned to the ground on the last night; and everything else you can possibly think of. And of course, there's the burning of the Man itself. It all happens here -- some of the art/performances/activities/themes painstakingly planned, some haphazardly devised last minute (but with passion and enthusiasm). Think quantum creativity… squared. Many come for the art, exhibits, music and experience of community, while others come for the hedonism… or all these things and more.

The one thing everyone has in common is what is termed “radical self-reliance” – on multiple levels. Surviving the heat and dust (wind storms!!) of the Playa is no easy feat. You must bring in all your own camping gear, food, water, and supplies. You must be conscious of not only your fluid and food intake (and sunscreen protection!), but also of what waste you create and how you will dispose of it. What you bring in, you must depart with. Anything considered MOOP (Matter Out Of Place) must not be left on the Playa – as it is everyone’s mission to leave the environment exactly as s/he found it. Crews of volunteers spend a couple of weeks following everyone’s departure tearing down the temporary Black Rock City and combing the desert for every last nail and cigarette butt, every stray boa feather and clump of glitter, so that we “leave no trace” of our borrowing of the Playa.

This self-reliance extends beyond the physical. There are the mental and spiritual experiences of being out in the desert, out of comfort zones, and of traveling the inner journey that everyone inevitably experiences – whether they are aware of it at the time or not. And there is the social piece – of not only participating and finding the right groove and niches that fit for where the traveler is at that point in their lives, but of coordinating, pooling resources, and contributing to the overall experience of the other participants. Upon meeting new people (from the minute I arrived), I was greeted with a hug and “Welcome Home.” “Community” is a huge focus. No money is exchanged on the Playa (beyond purchase of ice for coolers, and the occasional chai tea at Center Camp). Barter and gifting is the culture, and offering to pay for anything can be considered an insult and contrary to the “spirit of Burning Man.” If you need it, someone has it and is more than willing to provide it to you (just in time!) with a generous heart, open hands, and a loving smile. Whether it is a D battery, a bloody Mary, a bandage and Neosporin, or a hug.

My Journey

This year's theme was "Evolution" -- fitting for how I view my experience of life -- an evolution of self and world. Personally, I saw this 10-day “vacation” as an experiment. I am attracted to new experiences, and getting out of my own comfort zones. However, this was to be on a totally different plane. I was going to be traveling with three friends from Chicago, and would be camping with roughly 40 new friends – among 40,000 others. Those close to me were surprised I was going to be doing this, and some even had their doubts that I would be able to handle the heat, dust, and craziness of the experience. While I was curious about how I would handle it myself, I knew I would just dive in and go with it.

As a coach, I could not help but set some intentions for the journey I was to embark upon. I wanted to be present, open to the adventure and was eager to find new ways of expressing myself. I also wanted to be willing to “receive.” I’m a “giver,” so the idea of others simply offering anything to me without expectation was something I wanted to be a part of. And more specifically, I saw this as a vision quest and an opportunity to shed many layers of who I know myself to be and “be with” what is possible for myself and for others… to know myself and my brothers on an entirely new level.

At this point in my life, I am closing some chapters and beginning some new ones. I am wrapping up the last of my formal education -- after roughly 30+ years in various levels of graduate and professional training. I am examining where I want to take my career next. I am exploring how I would like to continue my work in the HIV/AIDS arena. And I’m getting a feel for where I want to call “home” at this juncture in my life. Add all this transition and change to how I view myself personally and socially, and who I want to be in the world in terms of making the kind of impact I was born to make… well, it’s a lot to consider. So, Burning Man was my opportunity to hit “pause” while hitting “fast-forward” at the same time.

While out in the desert, I learned the value of surrender and appreciation. I learned how to be with whatever was put in front of me and to embrace the beauty of it. Whether it was being with my filthy, dust-filled tent (and sleeping bag); celebrating the various forms of public nudity and hedonism around me; deeply connecting with other kind souls; riding a three-story Astroturf-covered slide on a piece of cardboard and taking a chunk of skin off my elbow at 3am; dancing all night and seeing yet another sunrise; doing multiple costume changes throughout the day; eating random bacon slices from a neighboring camp; or thoroughly enjoying a quick shower out in the open (as a break from baby wipes and hand sanitizer) without shame or embarrassment – this was my Burning Man experience. And this does not even capture 10% of what it is all about – for me or anyone else I know.

Now that I’m back, I’ve been gradually reflecting on my journey. I am only just unpacking the experience, and more insight will occur as I continue to participate in life back in the Matrix. Not only was surrender a huge part of it, but so was recognition of my own power -- to survive, be self-sufficient and self-reliant, to receive openly, to give generously (even a stick of gum is an act of generosity when it comes from the heart and is well-intentioned), and to be a part of a community of like-minded, like-spirited people. Burning Man is not for everyone, but I will say proudly that I can now call myself a “Burner” who will eagerly return to the Playa for a completely new adventure.

I saw the face of God while I was out one night in the desert. His face appeared as a sparkling, winking eye (probably Venus or the North Star) surrounded by clouds shaped into a warm, loving grin. He spoke to me: “This is all for you, skeptical one. This experience was created for you and by you so that you will know the Truth. Know that anything is possible, because everything is within you and without you. You have My power and strength because you are Me and I am you. You are never alone because we are One.” In that moment, I felt my heart soften and open even further. And I was at peace as I set out on foot toward the thumping bass in the distance.